What did we do last night that was yellow?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I touched a dick in church today
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
