What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
