we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
sarcasm needs its own font
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
