and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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