I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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