How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
