Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
