he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
