i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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