If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
