You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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