I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
