More tranny stories later!
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
