Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
