bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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