Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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