I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
