i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
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She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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