Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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