I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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