he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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