i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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