Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
