Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
