It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
