i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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