My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
