just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
