somebody snuck up and got me drunk
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I can text with my tongue
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
