i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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