Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
