In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
