wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
