I'm going to jail i love you
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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