they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
