I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
