At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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