so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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