Pappa wants mamma naked
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
