i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
