if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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