I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
