It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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