its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Actions speak louder than pants.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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