I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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