so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
