It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
