Yo dont text me then not text me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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