May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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