So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
