when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
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