two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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