u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
