you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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