So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Hippo gnu deer
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
