I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
