What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
How naked do you want me to be?
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