so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
