You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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