I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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