This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
