You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
