I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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