so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
