i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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