it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
